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Social networking and your teen

By Diane Griffith, Staff Writer, myOptumHealth

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When it comes to socializing, your kids have it easier than you did. You were limited to landlines and letter-writing, but your kids can reach a friend - far or near - in seconds with a text or instant message.

But technology has its pitfalls, too. Parents need to be aware of the good, the bad and the not-so-pretty aspects of social networking.

What is social networking?

Teens use social networking sites (like MySpace and Facebook) to connect with friends online. A teen sets up a personal profile, linking with friends and creating his own social network. He and his friends can e-mail, send instant messages, post photos and videos, write on each other's "walls" and share interests. Studies show that in the U.S., more than half of teens with computers use social networking.

The good

Social networking is a great way for teens to maintain friendships and plan activities. Kids tend to be less inhibited behind the keyboard. Those who feel self-conscious at school often find it easier to develop friendships online - where they can relax and be themselves.

The not-so-good

Some children may decide it's more comfortable to communicate online than in person. If your child is very shy, it's important to get her away from the computer and out in the world.

Another possible pitfall of social networking is bullying by other kids. This could involve anything from taunting and teasing, to stalking and threats. Children need to know that anything they post online could come back to haunt them. A friend today could be an enemy tomorrow, and could use your child's photos and personal information to embarrass him.

Studies show that about 40 percent of teens do not use privacy settings, meaning anyone can see their profiles. Even if they do use them, no security system is foolproof. Once they post something on the Internet, it has the potential to be seen by anyone. This includes college admissions officers and potential employers, who often use Facebook or MySpace to evaluate applicants. Many of them will reject applications based on what they've seen on a teen's Web page.

The ugly

Some kids become obsessed with social networking to the point of addiction and isolation. They may spend so much time on the Internet that it interferes with homework, family, friends and other activities. They may take up with strangers online and avoid face-to-face contact at home and in school.

Online activities can put your child at risk for attracting predators, too. Make sure your child does not post information that gives away her identity and location.

Warn children about putting themselves in dangerous situations. Let them know that the unknown person they've just "friended" could be someone dangerous.

Talk to your kids

Support your children in building a social network, but make sure they're aware of the dangers. For their safety, set down the following ground rules:

• They may not accept friend invitations from people they don't know.
• Privacy settings must be restricted so only friends can see their profiles.
• They may not post specific information (like "meet you at 7th and Main at 7 pm") that could alert predators to their whereabouts.
• They should never arrange secret meetings with strangers. People online often aren't who they say they are.
• They should tell you if anyone says anything inappropriate or if they are being bullied.
• Their time online must be limited and cannot replace face-to-face interactions.
• They must give you access to their Web pages. Check your child's Web page regularly.

If your children follow the rules, social networking can be a rewarding, fulfilling way for them to build lasting friendships.

View the original Social networking and your teen article on myOptumHealth.com 

SOURCES:

• Pew Internet. Findings: 55% of online teens use social networks and 55% have created Ponline profiles; older girls predominate. Accessed: 10/13/2009

• On Guard Online. Social networking sites. Accessed: 10/13/2009

• Young Adult Library Services Association. How online social networking facilitates learning in schools & libraries. Accessed: 10/13/2009

• Bradenburg C. The newest way to screen job applicants: a social networker's nightmare. Federal Communications Law Journal.

• Cynkar A. Children and the Internet. Monitor on Psychology. 2007:28(10).

• Federal Trade Commission. Social networking sites: safety tips for tweens and teens. Accessed: 10/13/2009